Back to You: When Self-Help Holds You Back

Let’s be honest: the right self-help book at the right time can feel like divine intervention.
It can unlock something in you. Remind you of your power. Help you say, “That’s who I’ve been all along.”

But here’s the thing: too much of a good thing can become a disguise.
And in today’s world, where you’re one click away from the next “10 Ways to Fix Your Life” checklist, the self-help space has become noisy, over-saturated, and—ironically—disempowering.

Yes, healing matters. Growth matters.

But at what point does “helping yourself” become a cycle of avoidance?

The Hidden Trap: Healing as a Delay Tactic

Let’s talk about the truth no one wants to admit:
Some people aren’t healing. They’re hiding.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of consuming instead of changing.
You buy the journal.
You highlight the book.
You enroll in the course.
You repost the quote.

And it all feels like growth.
But nothing in your actual life moves.

There’s no boundary set.
No conversation had.
No real action taken.

The reality is: reading about change and doing the work of change are not the same thing.

The High of “Becoming” Without the Work

Self-help can give you a dopamine hit.
It feels good to imagine a better version of yourself. It’s hopeful.
But hope without discipline becomes emotional window shopping.

You’re trying to build confidence.
Trying on worthiness.
Trying on boundaries.
But you’re not actually buying into any of it.

And that’s not judgment—it’s just what happens when growth becomes about performance, instead of practice.

When You’re Always Becoming, You Never Feel Enough

The other danger in endless self-help is this: you start believing you’re never quite there.

If you’re constantly chasing the “next level you,” when do you get to be enough right now?

When do you pause and say:

• “I’m proud of how far I’ve come.”

• “I don’t need to fix everything at once.”

• “I can love myself in this version, even as I grow.”

Because growth without grace becomes a cycle of never feeling complete.
And you deserve more than that. You deserve presence.

Be Careful Who You Let Shape Your Mindset

Not every self-help voice is rooted in truth, ethics, or lived experience.
The internet has made it easy for anyone to claim expert status.
The rise of aesthetic advice, toxic positivity, and recycled motivational fluff can make you feel like you’re doing something wrong if you’re still struggling, grieving, or simply resting.

Here’s the truth:

• You don’t need a 5-step method to trust your gut.

• You don’t need a 30-day challenge to be worthy.

• You don’t need someone else’s blueprint to define your healing.

You just need to reconnect with you.

What works for someone else may not be what you need.
And what worked for you last year may not fit anymore either.

So How Do You Know What’s Actually Helping?

Use this gentle self-check:

✨ Am I reading to avoid doing the real work?
✨ Do I feel more anxious or more aligned after I consume this?
✨ Is this teaching me to trust myself—or depend on someone else?
✨ Am I applying what I’ve learned—or just collecting it?

Growth should empower you, not make you feel like you’re broken.

The right kind of help brings you back to yourself, not further away.

Back to You Means Coming Back to Wholeness

The goal isn’t to be perfect.
The goal isn’t to fix every flaw.
The goal isn’t to become someone so “healed” that life never gets messy.

The goal is to come back to your truth.
Your values. Your voice. Your intuition.

Because you—as you are, in this moment—are already the foundation.
Self-help should support that. Not silence it.

Unsubscribing from the Noise

Maybe what you need right now isn’t another journal or another course.
Maybe what you need is to pause, breathe, and ask:

“What do I already know? And what am I finally ready to live out?”

Sometimes, the most powerful form of self-help is letting go of the need to “become” and simply choosing to be.

🌿 Back to You Challenge:

This week, take a break from consuming advice and instead, listen inward. Ask:

• What do I need today—not what someone else says I should need?

• What action (even small) can I take to honor myself right now?

Because you don’t need more inspiration.
You need more integration.

🕊️ Feel like something needs to go before you grow?
Get access to my virtual Letting Go Ritual Kit to create sacred space for shedding what no longer serves you.
✨ [Access your ritual kit]