Why You Get Triggered & How To Train Yourself to Respond Instead of React
Let’s be real, sis — everybody gets triggered. Even the most “put together” woman you know has moments where somebody says the wrong thing, looks at her sideways, or hits an old wound…and suddenly she feels herself slipping out of character.
But here’s the truth most people don’t talk about:
Being triggered doesn’t make you weak— it makes you human.
What matters isn’t whether you get triggered….
It’s how you move afterward.
Do you fall into old reactions?
Shut down?
Snap on somebody?
Or do you breathe, get centered, and respond with emotional intelligence?
If you’re the first type, don’t worry. You’re not alone, and you’re stuck. Your triggers tell a story, and once you learn to understand them, you gain the power to respond instead of react.
Let’s be real about this in a way that’s genuine, relatable, and grounded in psychological truth.
What “Being Triggered” Really Means (The Psychology Behind It)
A trigger is anything — a word, tone, memory, situation — that pulls your mind back into a past emotional experience.
Most triggers come from:
Past hurt
Childhood wounds
Trauma
Rejection
Abandonment
Betrayal
Pressure
Unresolved emotional needs
So when somebody hits that emotional button? Your brain doesn’t respond to the moment. It responds to the memory.
That’s why you can know something “shouldn’t bother you,” but whew….it does.
Triggers are your brain's way of trying to protect you.
But when you don’t understand your triggers, you start reacting from survival mode instead of emotional intelligence.
The Difference Between Reacting vs Responding
Here’s the truth, girl:
Reacting is instant. Responding is intentional.
Reacting looks like:
Snapping
Shutting down
Walking away angry
Overthinking
Emotional outbursts
Taking things personally
Assuming someone’s intentions
Responding looks like:
Pausing
Breathing
Noticing your feelings
Communicating with clarity
Asking questions instead of assuming
Setting boundaries
Choosing your tone
Checking your triggers before checking the other person
Responding is the version of you that moves in emotional intelligence. Reacting is the version of you that’s still hurting.
And sis.. both versions deserve grace.
But only one of them will get you the life, relationships, and peace you want.
Why You React So Fast: The Trigger Loop
When you get triggered, your nervous system does this:
You perceive a threat
Your brain hits the emotional alarm system
Your body reacts (heart racing, heat in your chest, jaw tension)
You respond from the past — not the present
This is why triggers feel so overwhelming — your body reacts before your brain can understand what happened.
But emotional intelligence teaches you how to STEP OUT of that loop.
How To Train Yourself to Respond Instead of React
Here are professional, psychology-backed strategies explained in a '“sis I got you” way.
1.) Name The Trigger Before It Names You
You can’t heal what you don’t acknowledge. Ask yourself:
“Why did that bother me so much?”
“What wound did that hit?”
“Is this about now, or is this about before?”
Awareness is the first step to emotional control.
2.) Listen to Your Body
Your body always tells the truth.
Triggered feelings show up as:
Tight chest
Throat closing
Heat in your face
Stomach dropping
Shaky hands
Sudden irritation
When you notice the physical signs, don’t judge yourself.
Just breathe and observe. This slows down your reaction.
3.) Pause Before You Respond
You don’t owe anybody an instant answer. Pausing gives you power.
Try saying:
“Give me a second.”
“Let me think about that.”
“I need a moment to process.”
This buys you time to respond with intention.
4.) Challenge the Thought Behind the Trigger
Ask yourself:
“Is what I’m thinking actually true?”
“Or is my past talking for me?”
“Is this person trying to hurt me, or am I assuming?”
Your first thought is your wound. Your second thought is your wisdom.
5.) Respond With Your Values, Not Your Feelings
Your reaction happens in the moment. Your response happens from your character.
Ask:
“How does the woman I’m becoming handle this?”
That question changes everything.
6.) Practice Emotional Regulation Daily
This includes:
Journaling
Breathwork
Grounding exercises
Boundary setting
Mood tracking
Emotional check-ins
Sis….this is where your growth actually happens. You cannot change how you respond if you never take time to examine how you feel.
7.) Use Triggers as Teachers
Your triggers expose:
Where you need healing
What you need to release
What you’ve tolerated for too long
What you still carry emotionally
Every trigger is an opportunity to elevate your emotional intelligence.
How My Emotional Intelligence Workbook Helps You Respond Instead of React
Inside my Emotional Intelligence eBook + Workbook, I walk you through:
Identifying your emotional triggers
Understanding your stressors
Learning emotional regulation
Building healthy boundaries
Improving your communication
Mastering conflict resolution
Stepping into emotional control
Daily tracking to increase self-awareness
Journal prompts that get to the root
Exercises to rewire your reactions
It’s not just information — it’s transformation.
If you’re tired of being reactive, this is the guide that helps you regain control of your emotions and your peace.
This Emotional Intelligence eBook + Workbook is your full guide to understanding your emotions, healing your triggers, and developing the confidence to respond instead of react. Inside, you’ll learn the psychology behind emotional triggers, emotional regulation techniques, boundary setting, conflict resolution, self-awareness strategies, and daily prompts that help you grow into the most emotionally intelligent version of yourself. Perfect for women on a healing journey, in their self-growth era, or wanting better relationships, communication, and inner peace.
